Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
1. I love talking about myself. So while I may roll my eyes at ‘yet another tag’, I quite enjoy it.
2. When I was really young, I thought the world was actually black and white in the 50s, and that it was filled with colour much later.
3. As a kid, I used to watch this cartoon about a guy, who used to raise one arm towards the sky, yell ‘Shazam!’ and turn into a superhero called, naturally, Shazam. I went out on my lawn one night, raised one arm and yelled ‘Shazam!’, hoping for superpowers. I believe that was the first KLPD of my life.
4. I never saw Star Wars as a kid, and it didn’t really interest me when I grew up. So yes, I haven’t seen a single Star Wars movie and I think it’s a perfectly acceptable way of life. You can put down your tubelights…sorry, lightsabers now.
5. I cannot stand it when ‘ppl typ lik dis n tink itz kewl’. It brings about a physical sense of revulsion, followed by an urge to break things. Also, what the fuck is ‘lolzzz’? Does it mean you were laughing out loud and suddenly started snoring?
6. For the longest time, I thought that the lyrics in the Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan song, ‘Afreen Afreen’ were ‘uske Nana ki tareef mumkin nahin.’ (Translation: It is not possible to completely praise her maternal grandfather.) I always wondered why, when talking about a beautiful woman, someone would think about praising her grandfather. (Maybe he passed on exceptionally good genes?) It made sense when I learnt that the actual lyrics were ‘Husn-e-janaa ki taareef mumkin nahin’ (Translation: It is not possible to completely praise the beauty of the beloved.)
7. I have a freakishly strong memory when it comes to recalling names, faces, dates, phone numbers, license plate numbers and other absolutely useless details. I sometimes freak people out by telling them things like what they were wearing at a birthday party 14 years ago. I get a nervous laugh in return, followed by a restraining order.
8. If I were ever a superhero or an action movie character, I’d be called The Procrastinator (Tagline: I’ll be back…tomorrow.) Seriously, I’ve spent hours just *looking* at two pages of a textbook.
9. While growing up, I found it silly that adults expressed surprise at how much I’d grown, as if I was supposed to shrink with age. I now find myself expressing the same surprise at my younger cousins and nephews.
10. I don’t understand how people can read on the crapper. It’s something I never do, although I do spend hours daydreaming there. And when I say hours, I really do mean hours.
11. I’m not vain about too many things, but I absolutely love my hair. I think it is bloody awesome and will really miss it when it’s gone.
12. I hate musicals. I cannot watch stuff like Chicago, Moulin Rouge or Sweeney Todd. I. just. can’t.
13. There are days when I think I’m the greatest writer in the world, and that I deserve to be borne aloft on a winged chariot helmed by nymphs wearing nothing but shimmering gold dust, as the world looks skywards and worships my genius. And then there are days when I look at my work and it makes me want to jump off a building, land headfirst and have a road roller flatten whatever is left. Mostly though, I’m somewhere in between, tending towards the positive side.
14. In Class XII, I once memorised the entire periodic table, including the Lanthanide and Actinide series, just to see if I could. This really helped with my study of inorganic chemistry, but it didn’t do too much for my social life.
15. I regret not being able enough to join the armed forces. I think a compulsory, short stint in the military will do our pussy generation a world of good, and that no matter how rich or intelligent you are, a soldier owns your pansy ass.
16. I love first dates. The nervous anticipation, the last minute check in the mirror, cologne, mint, random conversations, laughter and the voice in my head reminding me to look at the girl’s face – I love it all.
17. I feel I need to earn my vacations and leisure time. If I’ve had a particularly unproductive stint at work, it bothers me, and while a quiet drink or two is fine, I can’t really get into a party mood when this happens.
18. I have to watch a movie on the day of its release, i.e mostly a late night show on Friday. There’s something very comforting about settling into plush, multiplex seats and kicking off the weekend with a movie. It irks me if I cannot make it on a Friday, and if, for some reason, I fail to catch it over the weekend, I will pester all and sundry until somebody agrees to watch it with me on a weekday.
19. Like any self-respecting kid who grew up in the 90s, I love The Wonder Years. I have all the episodes on my comp, and have seen them multiple times, except for the last episode, which I’ve seen only once when it aired on TV. I simply can’t bring myself to watch it again, because I’m afraid it will me break down and sob like a little bitch.
20. The longest continuous stretch I’ve watched a TV show for is 12 hours (6 p.m to 6 a.m). This was for Prison Break: Season 1. Also, after back to back viewings of Dexter: Seasons 1 and 2, I spent at least two days living with a dispassionate voiceover in my head.
21. I always feel hungry after watching the opening sequence of Dexter.
22. I go for the crazy chicks. I like the normal ones, everyone does, but there is some twisted pleasure in chasing a woman who you know will rip your heart out and spear it with her stiletto.
23. I’m a big fan of toilet humour. Also, I think the word ‘chuddies’ is extremely funny.
24. As a boyfriend, I’m quite the romantic. (Ok you can stop laughing now) Random roses, a dash of poetry (including dirty limericks) and other such schmaltzy nonsense – I’ve done it all and thoroughly enjoyed it.
25. ‘Written by Ashish Shakya’. I think those words would look great on a book jacket and film and television credits.
BONUS: Told you I liked talking about myself.
26. I cannot imagine ever being married. Then again, I can’t imagine being alone either. I think if it has to work, I need to be really good friends with the woman crazy enough to say yes to me. To quote the wise philosopher Shahrukh Khan, ‘pyaar dosti hai.’ *waves multi-coloured friendship band*
27. I want to meet Dave Barry once before he goes to the Big Writer’s Office In The Sky.
28. I believe religion was born out of ignorance and later manifested into a form of mind-control. It is a game of Chinese Whispers gone horribly wrong and I do not see the merit in following arbitrary “laws” that were created for a different time and place.
